My marriage
I am married to a foreigner. I had to blend into his culture in order not to suffer from culture shock. I had to learn the language and I took the integration exam. Now I speak Dutch very well. I am very comfortable with the language. I go wherever my husband goes. I am not the type that says we should live apart. No matter how much money I have, I want my
family to live under one roof. There is nothing unique about marrying a foreigner. He is just like every other man. It is not that I have always dated a foreigner. I had dated Nigerian men and other Africans. Men will always be men, no matter the colour of their skin, origin or physical features. If a man needs attention, you will give him the attention. A man’s needs are the same everywhere. Now, my home is Holland. I have to be very partial. That is where I want my children to grow up. Education in Holland is free and it is standard. There are no separate schools for the rich or the poor. I bring my children home often. I want them to know their African background.
Why my marriage has survived
I am not going to compare my marriage with that of my colleagues whose marriages broke up. Nobody prays to have a broken marriage. No woman wishes to get married and watch it break up after some years. I don’t make fun of situations that I don’t even understand. In my own case, it is just God that has sustained my marriage. I might sound old fashioned, but it is just God that has done it for me. He knows everybody. In every challenging situation, He will always tell you what to do. I read all books about marriage, but it doesn’t work that way. You have to go into a marriage with an open mind and then make the best situation out of anything you see in it.